Well thank god nobody will see this and I will be long long gone. Growing up I never felt like I ever belonged anywhere and I didn’t and still don’t. Always trying to fit in, be invited to join people for things, thinking I actually had a family, etc. but alas NOPE. Well that was a complete fucked up lie and waste of my life. Now that the people who adopted me are long dead the truth comes out. They wrote me out of their lives specifically in their will leaving only their blood children everything they had putting me out to the trash like yesterdays garbage. I have now realized that I never mattered, only a good deed to make them appear in all outward appearances that they were good people and even though one of the kids they raised wasn’t theirs biologically was one of their own. Well that was a big fucking LIE!! Looking back at my entire life in hindsight that was a great charade they put on for people to see. Truth to the matter is my entire life I was always sent off to do things they wanted me to do that they paid for and were not a part of unless it meant writing a check and also only drug along with them when they travelled because they had no other choice. I have absolutely no memory of them being actual parents to me. They never participated in anything I did and I just kept doing whatever they wanted only to hear three simple words, “I’m proud of you”. Well those words never came at any time, no memories of doing anything with anyone I thought was family other than what was paid to do. Never picnics or any of the normal things families do like camping, playing ball, being taught things in life, supporting me in anything I did, etc etc etc. What a great life huh? NOT EVEN CLOSE!! I have basically raised myself with no guidance which has made me a complete fuck up in life in everyone’s eyes and always talked down to and treated like a stupid idiot. So I am now completely done with EVERYTHING!!! Truth to the matter here is I really never was an actual part of any family, only the kid that got sent off like a kid to boarding school and always everyone’s afterthought for anything and even then I would find out I was never invited to what I thought were family get togethers and functions until after they were over. So here I sit writing my last letter and now it’s time for all the pain and suffering to finally go away and I can actually have peace. I have no idea how I have survived this long with all of the pain and grief my life has been so it’s time for me to fly away from all of this pain and heartbreak. GOODBYE!!!